Four Ways the Examen Helps in Discernment as a Couple

In recent posts, I shared a process of discerning as a couple and also five ways the Examen can support us in our marriage. Now let’s take a closer look at four ways the Examen can help us discern as a couple. 1. The Examen helps us get clarity on what we are discerning. It is hard to make a choice without clearly knowing what the decision we are being asked to make is. My […]

Yearly Check-In for Couples

My years of being immersed in Ignatian spirituality have taught me the importance of being intentional—to be dedicated to my prayer life, to be dedicated to discernment, and to live purposefully. It is this idea of intentionality that I offer to all couples this new year as we naturally start setting our sights on goals, resolutions, and dreams. Instead of picking the first thing that comes to mind for our New Year’s resolutions, consider a […]

Discerning as a Couple

Discerning as an individual is something that’s covered at length in the world of Ignatian spirituality. But what about discerning as a couple? The framework my husband Chris and I use for discernment is not that different from the framework I recommend people use for discerning as an individual. The major difference is there are two people’s voices and experiences of prayer, and there is the larger context of marriage and family life in which […]

Five Ways the Examen Can Play a Role in Marriage

I remain thankful for all who taught me Ignatian spirituality. It is not only the spirituality that guides my relationship with God, but it is also the spirituality that guides my marriage. Here are five ways the Examen can play a role in marriage. 1. The Examen helps us pray our marriage. When I teach someone about the Examen, I often say, “It helps you pray your life.” Our relationships and marriages are significant pieces […]

After the Wedding at Cana

In honor of all those getting married this month or celebrating anniversaries, I invite you to imagine meeting a married man in Cana. This story is inspired by John 2:1–11, the wedding at Cana. We saved some wine from our wedding two years ago because so much was left over. We bring some out every anniversary, as a sign of the blessing it is to be married. Whoever shares it with us agrees: it is […]

Marriage as Conversion

A member of Contemplative Leaders in Action, my former student E. writes a lovely blog, A Call to Joy. In light of recent news about the Synod on the Family, which is addressing neuralgic questions about the Church’s ministry, it is fruitful to share her meditations on being called to marriage. On the one hand, it feels impossible to capture the intimate mix of joy and sacrifice, of both lighthearted and difficult conversations, of learning how to balance my […]

The Blessing of Married Couples

With two — count ’em — church annulment documents carefully stashed in a fireproof file box, I vowed I’d never get remarried. The annulment process revealed all that had been predictably wrong and I, for one, was not going to risk another messy marriage. We plan; God laughs. A decade elapsed between my first and second marriages. I entered the second no better prepared than I was for the first, either emotionally or spiritually.  Thirteen years […]

Marriage Prep: Labyrinth Walking

Does anyone not know I’m getting married in four weeks? I’m getting married in four weeks and have been writing about it here. This isn’t my first or even my second marriage, but I know it will be my last one. This time God is at the center; something I knew early on in my relationship with Dan and is affirmed by the Holy Spirit every step of the way. Earlier this week some of […]

Prettiest Girl in Town

A while ago I sent this as my first blog posting for dotMagis.  Today there is an update. In December of 2009, I wrote: I went to a funeral Monday morning; the mother of a friend.  She was about 95 and left behind a grieving husband who will turn 99 next month.  They had been married for 73 years.  I sat in church and pondered that kind of love and commitment.  Seventy-three years?  For those […]

Feeling Good Together

One of the very best lines I’ve heard about love came from the wise mouths of Zhang Mucheng (101 years old) and Xu Dongying, (102) of Shanghai, celebrating 80 years of marriage together. When asked about love, they said “We are not used to kissing and hugging…we just feel good when we are together.” And later: “We have so many things to do together…we don’t have time for fights.” Most folks, I think, immediately conjure […]

1 2