My autopilot mode was jostled lately by Pope Francis’s words during one of his weekly audiences: “How do we experience the Eucharist? When we go to Sunday Mass, how do we live it? Is it only a moment of celebration, an established tradition, an opportunity to find oneself or to feel justified, or is it something more?” This startled me, perhaps because I consider church to be my “go to” place when I need to escape the world outside of its doors. Sometimes this leads to Mass becoming routine and all about me. Did I let the Eucharist, this great gift from God, become rote and ordinary? Have I let autopilot get in the way of something more?
Autopilot gives us a sense of ease and comfort as we go about our lives. Routine feels secure. But does anyone really find God on autopilot? Jesus never said, “Come, follow me; it will be easy and you won’t really have to think about it.” I know in my heart that I cannot be Christ for others when I am not fully present in the moment. No, I desire something more.
All of this leads me to my Lenten promise this year: disengage autopilot. The grace I seek is to be fully present, to live each moment fully engaged. How am I going to live that out? I suppose that’s what the Lenten journey is all about. Maybe it starts with aiming for at least one moment each day that I step out of my own little world and focus on serving the person before me. Maybe it means ticking off little marks on a sheet of paper each time I catch myself spacing out during the day. The goal is clear, though, and that is when the Body of Christ is held up for me to behold next time, I will have only my crucified Christ—who is always fully present to me—on my mind and in my heart.