God is always working in our lives, but sometimes we are so wrapped up in the details of life that we need a friend to notice God’s work for us. Spiritual friends are the ones who notice for us. We turn to them when we want to talk about our faith journey, relationship with God, or topics that we feel at the soul level. These friendships are rooted in Christ. We often invite the Spirit into the discussion through prayer or, implicitly, by the nature of the conversation. We rejoice together, mourn together, and accompany each other in the daily quest for the Divine. A spiritual friendship is a supportive and prayerful relationship.
I recently sat down for lunch with one of my spiritual friends. We talked about life and how things were going since we last met. She remembered things I had forgotten and noticed outcomes we had prayed for that I had not noticed. I came away feeling encouraged, refreshed, fortified in my faith, and grateful for all the ways God was working in both of our lives. I also felt incredibly energetic, which was different from my feeling when I entered the restaurant with energy waning. As I reflected on our meeting later in the day, the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost came to mind. The disciples went forth immediately and shared the good news. The feeling I had experienced had to be that same energy. I wanted to go out and share that energy of love and peace with the world!
St. Ignatius knew well the importance of spiritual friendship. While he set out on his spiritual quest alone after recovering from his war wounds, he realized, especially after his time alone in the cave at Manresa, that we are made for community. His mystical encounter at the River Cardoner empowered him with the energy to go forth and share the greatness of God’s love with whomever he met. He was, obviously, still sharing this message when he met his roommates at the University of Paris: Francis Xavier and Peter Faber. These men he would come to call his “friends in the Lord.” Together they formed the religious order the “Companions of Jesus,” or the Society of Jesus. Jesuit Charles Shelton writes, “We might even speculate whether the early Society would have been viable if the early companions had not enjoyed such a rich friendship.” (The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything, 241)
It all makes me wonder what it would be like if more people had the support of spiritual friends. What has been your experience with spiritual friends?
Note: Spiritual friendship is different from spiritual direction, in that in spiritual friendship both parties share mutually. In spiritual direction, the Spirit is also invited into the conversation, but the focus is completely on the person receiving direction. In fact, the “director” not so much directs, but rather, supports and holds space for the individual and reflects back on what one is hearing. The spiritual director accompanies the individual as they together look for God’s work in daily life. The primary relationship here is between the soul and God. While the spiritual direction relationship is more formal, the spiritual director still prays for the directee each day.