I wear a gold cross on a chain around my neck. I have for as long as I can remember. Recently, a friend asked me why.
“My grandparents bought it for me when I was really little,” I replied. “And my grandmother had a really big impact on my faith.”
My friend nodded. “So it’s a family history thing. You’re not trying to say anything with it.”
I thought for a moment. My friend seemed to be driving at something. Was I hiding my faith?
I do keep the cross tucked into my shirt. Aside from the gold chain poking out around my neckline, it’s not really noticeable. My daughters have asked me about this; they don’t understand why I’d wear a necklace only to keep it hidden.
“That’s not entirely true,” I said finally. “I mean, at the pool or the beach it’s pretty visible. I only ever take it off if I’m going on a run or something.”
My friend still seemed unsatisfied with my answer. “So it’s a little bit of family history and a little bit of a reminder of your faith. Do you feel anything when you touch it? Does it remind you to pray or something?”
He really had me thinking now. I knew at a gut level that the cross around my neck was not a showy thing, it was not a subtle attempt to convert people, and it wasn’t just a family heirloom. But I wasn’t going to lie and pretend it was some great manifestation of piety: Oh, yes, every time I feel the chain brush up against my neck, I offer a Rosary for the poor. Wouldn’t I be a real hero if that were true? But it’s not.
“When I do any sort of workout,” I said slowly, “I take off my wedding ring and my cross. Then after I shower, I put them back on. And I guess…” I was grasping for the words. My friend looked at me encouragingly. “Well, in some way, putting those two items back on is a reminder of things that matter. My family. My faith. It’s like a ritual.”
I raised my hands as though to protest whatever he was going to say next. “But it didn’t start that way. I don’t want you to think I’m holier than I am.”
My friend nodded, smiled, and said, “Sometimes I think the natural discovery of ritual is even more important. The things we do again and again reveal meaning that we didn’t even know was there.”
I like that and have been thinking about it a lot lately. There’s no false show of piety or forced meaning, just the natural unfolding of life. God reveals Godself through our daily rhythms and rituals.
As symbols, my wedding ring and the cross around my neck are loaded with real meaning. They evoke and are sustained by a sacramental imagination that insists God speaks to us through the stuff of our lives and world.
But what my friend helped me to see is that it’s not up to me if God speaks through these simple items. God is speaking all the while, whether I listen or not. I don’t need to impose my own meaning or wrestle my own messages from these little objects; I simply need to observe God’s Spirit unfolding in and through the natural rhythms of my life.
When I put on that cross, I think of my grandparents and of a faith that has nourished me since childhood. I think of what God is doing now, in me, in this moment and the next. And most importantly, I realize I don’t actually have to think about anything at all; I just need to let God be God.
That’s the real point of the cross around my neck. At least, it is now.