Sometimes I am frozen in fear by an event that makes me realize how precious and fragile life really is. During these moments, the mundane tasks usually accomplished without thought become weighty and difficult, because I am crushed by worry. Usually, though, these events ground me enough to remind me that the world we live in is not where we are meant to stay forever, but a passage to the great promises that await us. Yet, when tragedy or sickness come, my first instinct is to hold on forcefully to what I already know, because the uncertainty of the unknown crushes me with fear.
As I get older, I have learned that all tragedy begets blessings and all suffering bridges to our God. Yet, I must be able to muster faith for those blessings to come, and often they are not where I think they should be. Often in my unfaithfulness, I am not patient enough to find one good thing in my suffering. “What do you want of me in this?” I complain, hoping God finds great humor or mercy in my immense lack of faith at such times.
God patiently reminds me, again and again, through family and precious friends, of the comfort that we were not meant to scrape through troubles alone. When friends and family offer their strength and love, I am certain God is shining through them in the capacity of the gifts they bring to me. Often I am blindly brought forward by the power of their prayers and scrape by through their great faith. Even when they tell me something that I don’t want to hear, I am certain God is also there, conveying a precious lesson that he has been trying to tell me for a long time.
I am thankful that God never tires of my complaining and forgives my struggle to take the reins from his hand. Although some days I wonder if I have made any progress, I know our God is a God of Miracles, so there is always hope for someone like me. I worry, sometimes, that when Christ comes again, robed in majesty and glory, that I will stop to turn off the oven or change one more load of laundry instead of running into his arms. I am banking on his patience and promises, since he already knows that I am muddled in my struggle to be rid of worldly things.
I know that in the end, the blessings will far outweigh the sufferings, and I am thankful that we have moments of peace between the times of tragedy. It is during these times, when the ordinary tasks of the day appear mundane again, that we look back and see all of the blessings that we missed along the way. It is also when we become thankful that things didn’t turn out the way we wanted after all.
During these times of struggle, we are able to hold up others with our prayers, strengthen ourselves for the journey, and remind ourselves of all the promises that wait for us. Meanwhile, we will live as courageously as we can, because, after all, God is there—steadfast and full of mercy, loving us wherever we are.
Photo by Fa Barboza on Unsplash.
