I was talking with a friend about a decision she needs to make. She shared that she’s going back and forth on what she should do, but she needs an answer now! She’s a prayerful person and has prayed about it, but she isn’t hearing a response. “God is completely silent,” she said. “There’s nothing. Nada!” she said in exasperation.
I could feel her stress and frustration, and I knew there was a timeline on the decision. As I was listening to my friend, I was praying for God to help. Then I asked St. Ignatius for help. An unexpected image came to mind: my moka pot.
Coffee is an essential part of my morning routine. Even more than coffee though, I like espresso—the kind made on the stove in a moka pot, not in an espresso machine. In a small cup, it packs a punch; rich and smooth, there is no bitterness when it’s allowed to rise slowly to the surface of the cafetera.
Sometimes I forget how much I love espresso, though, because, on hurried mornings, it’s easier to use my coffeemaker. I can fill the water, pop in the coffee grounds, turn on the machine, go about my morning routine, and find coffee waiting for me when I’m ready. Using the cafetera, on the other hand, requires I wait. The process also requires more care, as I must fill the little compartment with espresso grounds, ensuring that the grounds do not overflow onto the outside or slip into the water compartment below. Then I must wait by the flame while the water slowly rises into the compartment above. I must stay near and listen closely as it bubbles to the top; there is no little beep or shrieking whistle to tell me when it’s ready.
When we need to make a decision, espresso prayers are the way to go.
It’s a lot like prayer. There’s a place for coffeemaker prayers—the ones we know by heart that we can recite while running around. When we need to make a decision, though, espresso prayers are the way to go.
I venture to say that St. Ignatius was an espresso kind of guy. His advice on decision-making with God’s help is a lot like making espresso in a moka pot.
- Make the time. Be intentional about setting aside uninterrupted time for prayer about the decision.
- Stay close to the flame. Ask the Holy Spirit to be with you and guide you in the decision-making process.
- Listen for the soft bubbling. Be attentive to the quiet whispers of the Spirit.
- Be patient. Let go of the urge to control your thoughts or force a decision. Trust that God wants the best for you and has the process in hand. Open yourself to God’s surprises.
- Notice what is arising from the depths. Imagine the different ways the decision might go, and allow yourself to be open to options that arise that you may not have considered earlier. Pay attention to the emotions that rise to the surface as you consider each option. What gives you hope or joy? What gives you a sense of peace? What brings up feelings of love of God and others? On the other hand, what steals your peace? What makes you feel sad, angry, or anxious? The decision often becomes clear here.
- Invite Jesus to share a cup. Savor a cup, and ask Jesus to confirm you in your choice. How do you feel about this decision in conversation with Jesus? Will the path you chose draw you closer in your walk with him? Will the actual circumstances support the decision? Do you have a sense that you made the best decision you could at the time? Do you feel a sense of closure?
- Ask a trusted spiritual friend or spiritual director to share a cup. Confirm your decision in community. What do friends who walk with God think about it?
Decisions can be difficult, but, as St. Ignatius reminds us, God is always present and looking to connect with us. We just need to invite God to the table and listen.
Photo by Elesban Landero Berriozábal on Unsplash.