Editor’s note: Throughout July, we’re hosting 31 Days with St. Ignatius, a month-long celebration of Ignatian spirituality. In addition to the calendar of Ignatian articles found here, posts on dotMagis this month will explore the theme of “Finding God in the Unexpected.”
I hate being sick, but after a good year of dodging any illnesses, I caught a cold this summer. My illness was the kind that knocked me off my feet for a solid week. I went through box after box of tissues and felt a brain fog that settled over me. No fever, not a serious illness, but super annoying. In these times, I have a hard time praying. I do not have the focus to pray imaginatively, and any attempt to pray meditatively would have led to falling asleep in the midst of it.
How do we find God in times of illness? I don’t mean the life-changing kind that can indeed sharpen our priorities or help us to discover our gratitude for life and its relationships. I mean the mundane, annoying sort that slows our energy and makes prayer hard!
I found God in not trying so hard to pray and instead focusing on that for which I could be grateful. The first day I did not feel that bad, and our grown children were both over to visit. We went to the park to fly a stunt kite that my husband had received as a gift from our son. It was a gloriously beautiful day, and I felt grateful just to be able to stand there and watch it all. The next day, I was too tired to cook the family breakfast, but my son stepped in and offered to cook pancakes, and later in the day, my husband made dinner. Every day that next week, he’d ask on his way home if there was anything I needed (“Yes, more tissues. Thank you.”) and would bring me hot honey tea in the evenings.
I found God simply in being grateful for the care of others. I also was able to rest on my outdoor hammock in the backyard, as the weather was good, and I spent time looking at the pretty irises, cosmos, and my growing vegetable garden. I was too tired to weed or water, but admiring the goodness of God’s creation brought me gratitude.
I also thought of others whom I know, who are struggling with much more serious illnesses, and I felt grateful that my illness was time-limited. My prayer became these little moments of gratitude, scattered throughout the day.
While these moments of gratitude are ordinary and, in a sense, “nothing to write home about,” or perhaps even to write about, I share them as a reminder that God does not require that our prayer be glorious or intense or especially insightful. Good prayer is whatever brings us closer to God, and often the simplest expressions of gratitude are as important as the big consolations. Maybe they are more important, since they let God into the mundane as well as the deep.
Today in 31 Days with St. Ignatius, we’re Stopping to Rest with Shemaiah Gonzalez. How are you resting in gratitude this season? Share with #31DayswithIgnatius on social media.