Our lives can sometimes use a good decluttering too. At work, for example, I accumulate more committees than I can contribute to effectively. Or I notice that I have filled my calendar with a few too many things out of ambitions of having more energy than my middle-aged self can handle. Going on my yearly retreat gives me space to consider what kinds of responsibilities are most in need of my attention and which ones can be done just as well by the other, talented people with whom I work. I also have the chance to pay closer attention to my feelings about where I am drawn to be and where I am nourished by simpler things. Simplifying the house does not necessarily simplify the soul, but I need to declutter both each summer.
Ignatian spirituality invites us to be contemplatives in action, so it helpfully assures us that we can be contemplative while working, playing, and being in the stuff of life. Still, too much activity and “life clutter” make a contemplative life impossible. We cannot hurry all the time and still be contemplative. There must be some space to attend to those with whom we are meeting. We need rest and recreation at the end of the day to be nourished by meaningful activities other than work. Without rest and space, my joy even in what I enjoy is destroyed.
Ignatian spirituality has led me to consider three things in deciding what to choose and what to let go.
- First, is this something either (a) joyful or (b) needed? Thankfully, my work still has aspects that are joyful. I love sharing a book or idea that I find meaningful or inspiring with students in a classroom. While it is ideal when our work gives us joy and consolation, a realistic life requires both what is joyful and things that simply have to get done, whether at work or at home. Someone has to do the paperwork. Someone has to clean the toilet.
- Second, if the task is needed but not really a passion, I ask myself, Is this something that I am better suited to do than others around me, or can others do it just as well as I can?
- Third, I ask, What are my deepest priorities as I consider how a total day, week, or month looks, and am I creating space for those? Even some things that are joyful or needed may have to be released to keep my eyes on what matters most. The things that matter most are often not the most “productive” things; for example, being with my immediate family here in Boston is a high priority, regardless of what we do together. Being together matters.
Here is how my own discernment as a professor might work. I love teaching the content of many of the courses that I am able to teach. It’s both joyful for me to be in the classroom with students, and these courses are needed for their educations. Still, some parts of my work are not very pleasant, such as grading midterm exams in my core course, yet they are needed. Exams ensure that my students do the reading, study the content, and internalize it more than if I had no exams and only graded other kinds of student work. So my undergrads take exams, and I grade them.
God is in the letting go as much as in the building up.
With respect to the second consideration, I am asked to be on so many committees that I find it helps to think about where I am really needed and where others could do the work, even if they do not yet know that they can! There is a virtue in building institutions that can continue beyond ourselves, and handing over such work to others who are younger is a gift to the longevity of the goals of the institution too. God is in the letting go as much as in the building up. If our work environments have structural problems where there is more to do than people to do it, then perhaps we need to communicate to others that the situation is not sustainable and address it directly.
Life has also taught me of the need to prioritize and build in time for relationships outside of work, giving myself the gift of time to do things that are fun. I love walking at the park with the dog, singing in a choir, playing bridge with my bridge friends, seeing musical theater, and watching some sports. There is not time for all of that, either, so I must live within human limits! My retreat reminds me that one-on-one time with God is the most essential activity, so I must clear out the clutter of life to be centered on God and God alone. God is in the ordinary moments of life, but sometimes, we need to “empty out the closet” and just be with God for a while.
No process of discernment is perfect. I will still find myself next year on a few too many committees and wondering whether I have time to play that evening bridge game or am better served by relaxing and just watching a TV show after dinner. I will probably find myself tired and wishing I were back on retreat again—or at least wondering whether I should have a few less obligations. But God does not ask us to be perfect and manages to work through our lives regardless.
How do you discern how to spiritually declutter your life?
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