Pilgrimage experiences teach great lessons in basic humanity, reaching limits, and dependence on others and God. Pilgrims learn the importance of being freed from false expectations and beliefs, and they come to truths about themselves and the world, learning new levels of compassion and humility. As pilgrims on the road, we are often on the edge, open, and vulnerable; support and friendship are key.
These pilgrim lessons are at the heart of our lives. On life’s journey we inevitably encounter experiences of great suffering and testing. We find ourselves in difficult situations where God seems absent, and we have to walk a difficult and lonely road. Prayer and faith in a loving God become more challenging as we face limits, breakdown, and exhaustion, with a lack of clarity and meaning.
Accordingly, the true test of our faith is our capacity to find God amid suffering, mess, and pain. Often, a simple faith relies on positive experiences of God in nature, personal achievements, and consolation. However, when suffering and pain enter our lives, it is an entirely different matter. Understandably, we want to run away and hide from the pain, often perceiving it as entirely negative and lacking any spiritual value.
Following Jesus in the Gospels, however, everything leads towards Jerusalem and the Crucifixion. After the Jesus of the miracles, we suddenly come upon the very human Jesus of the Agony in the Garden. Alone and abandoned, he prays in desperation to the Father to take this cup away and release him from this terrible suffering. This startling humanity of Jesus is nowhere more evident than on the cross, when Jesus exclaims, “Why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46, from Psalm 22:1) We see Jesus sharing our human nature totally. He has been to those terrible places of pain and has indicated a path for us. One of the key insights of praying with Jesus’ Passion is realizing our fundamental connection to Jesus: he has suffered out of love for us, and we have contributed to the weight of human sin he bears. Amazingly, he assumes all this in his body, paying the price of our freedom with great love.
One of the things St. Ignatius recommends in the Spiritual Exercises is to have a personal conversation with Jesus on the Cross, called a colloquy in Ignatian terms. We can tell Jesus all our worries, struggles, and concerns and listen to what he has to say to us. Using our imagination allows us to have this two-way conversation, bringing Jesus alive in our mind and talking to him as one friend to another. Through the Spirit, God speaks to us even in our worries and fears, offering solace and compassion.
This brings us to an intimate relationship with Jesus, as he comes alive as a friend and companion. He is a fellow pilgrim on the road of life, who is always there for us through thick and thin. Realizing the depth of his love for us personally is key, as is our ability to appreciate his suffering through our shared humanity. This transforms prayer radically into a more personal and intimate conversation that reaches into the depths of our souls and becomes alive and transformative.
How do I find God during the terrible moments? How can I remain faithful and focused on God when all is going wrong? How can I pray my way through the crucibles of suffering and purification?