Editor’s note: We continue our series exploring each of the steps of the Examen. We’re using the Examen version from Jim Manney’s book, A Simple, Life-Changing Prayer. We’ll look at a different step each week.
2. Give thanks.
Gratitude is the attribute of the Examen that makes it a prayer rather than a laundry list. It’s easy to get sucked into an itinerary-tinted Examen, thinking that all that is required is a diligent retelling of the day’s tasks: I unloaded the dishwasher. Brought the dog to the vet. Had a tough conversation at work. Got drinks with friends.
Framed with gratitude, this list looks different: Thank God for a functioning appliance. God, please watch over Sparkie, and thank you for such a great pet. God, some of my coworkers are challenging, but I’m grateful for work. And thank you, God, for such a fun evening of friendship!
Not only have we transcended the temptation to map out yesterday’s calendar, but we’ve also directed our prayer somewhere, namely, to the person to whom all prayers go: our good and loving God. We’ve lifted our gaze from our own story and toward God’s.
The Examen is not merely a retelling of past deeds; it is a slow, steady walk through our days in the company of our God, who cares for the most intimate details. Our God cares about the mundane and miraculous goings-on, because these are the very moments through which God desires to meet us. How could we not respond in gratitude?
So, gratitude frames the entire Examen prayer. But giving thanks is also a key step, a precise moment in the Examen that allows this subsequent flow of gratitude to occur. It’s not always easy. We know the tough moments from the past day, week, month, or year. We know the people that irritated us, the challenges we faced, the failures, and the frustrations. How difficult it is to give thanks for that which we simply do not want! Yet, the second step of the Examen invites us into gratitude.
It’s too easy in our days to get distracted by the many challenging and unpleasant events we face. We bring those to our prayer, yes, but still we begin in gratitude. Why? Because when we focus solely on the problems, specifically on the failures, and when we get trapped by frustrations and irritations, our horizon lowers. We do not make room for our God of Surprises, who desires to transform even these instances of difficulty. We sink inward and wallow in pity.
We see these moments in our prayer and say, “Ugh. This was terrible. I hated it, and God must have hated it too, and now I don’t know what to do next. All I can think about is how awful that was.” And from there, our prayer spirals.
When we instead cultivate a disposition of gratitude, our gaze lifts. We see the difficulty, sure. We must, after all, if we are to enter into our prayer honestly. But we still trust in God’s loving care. “That was lousy, God, but thank you for the opportunity anyway. That prognosis is concerning, but thank you for this day all the same. May I meet it with grace and love.”
Gratitude, coupled with trust, opens us up to the graces that may otherwise remain hidden in a moment of challenge. Rather than turn inward and collapse, we turn outward and open our hands, trusting that God still will take those outstretched hands and guide us onward.
From there, we review our day, and we walk hand-in-hand with the God who loves us, never shying away from looking plainly at moments of challenge.
But we always begin in gratitude. And with gratitude, we necessarily cultivate a heart that trusts in God.
Thank you for this reflection. I thank God every night but you gave me more reasons to expand this step and make it “more.”
Thank you for this reflection. I thank God every night but you gave me more reasons to expand this step and make it “more.”
“Our God cares about the mundane and miraculous goings-on, because these are the very moments through which God desires to meet us. How could we not respond in gratitude?”