Seeking Joy

pink tulips in vase near window - photo by Lara Farber on Pexels.com

One May, a couple of years ago, my spirit was in desperate need of awakening. I was having a rough year, and like many educators and parents, I was struggling to make it through those last few weeks before summer. To give my spirit a quick start, I decided to stop at the store one Saturday morning and buy myself flowers. A little intimidated by the people surrounding the flower section, who were filling their carts with coordinated bouquets for upcoming graduation parties and other end-of-year celebrations, I spent only a quick minute selecting a few random bunches. This decision to buy myself flowers was so sudden that I was not even sure if I had adequate vases to hold them all. I purchased them anyway, went home, and placed a couple of flowers here and there in all sorts of makeshift containers. They were displayed on my kitchen windowsill, near my front door, in my closet, and even in my bathroom.

And it worked! My spirit was awakened every time one of the vases full of bright colors caught my eye. In fact, it worked so well that I went back to the store every Saturday after that to buy myself some flowers.

For more than two years now, at the beginning of a stressful week or at the end of a long day, catching a glimpse of a small vase of flowers reminds me of God’s continuous creation and brings me enough joy to keep showing up. It has even sparked in me a desire to spread this small bit of joy to others. Shortly after I started my “flowers for me” habit, I added in a “donuts for them” habit for my three boys each Saturday morning. Apparently, young boys’ spirits are awakened more through their stomachs than their eyes!

Each Saturday I take a photo of my “flowers for me” and “donuts for them” and share it on social media. Catching me once with my phone out, snapping pictures of the bags in the trunk, my boys asked me why I do this each week. I told them, “I hope that if someone comes across my story, one of two things happens: they feel the joy I do in this moment, or they are inspired to start a small weekly habit that might awaken their spirit a little too.”

The morning I finished writing this post was the morning I found out that Pope Francis had passed away. I was on my way to the store for a belated Easter Monday flower purchase after a busy holiday weekend, and I heard the news. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I could feel my spirit quaking a bit with trepidation over what might happen without his constant voice urging mercy and hope in a world already so divided. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I parked my car and walked inside. The scent of Easter lilies filling the flower section greeted me almost instantly, and my spirit was once again awakened to the presence of God’s creation all around. Despite my grief, my heart was filled with joy.

Flowers for me and donuts for them are such simple ways of seeking joy in a world that doesn’t always make a lot of sense. This weekly action reminds me that no matter what, joy is always possible! As Pope Francis wrote in Evangelii Gaudium, “Joy adapts and changes, but it always endures, even as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty that, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.”

How will you seek joy today?

Photo by Lara Farber on Pexels.

Gretchen Crowder
Gretchen Crowderhttps://gretchencrowder.com/
Gretchen Crowder has served as a campus minister and Ignatian educator for the Jesuit Dallas community for the last 15 years. She is also a freelance writer and speaker and is the host of Loved As You Are: An Ignatian Podcast. She has a B.S. in mathematics and a M.Ed. from the University of Notre Dame as well as an M.T.S. from the University of Dallas. She resides in Dallas, TX, with her husband, three boys, and an ever-growing number of pets.

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