Saying, “I’m Sorry”

My three-year-old grandson called me last week, excited to share with me an important lesson he had finally learned.

The same boy who had multiple “time out” sessions for refusing to say, “Sorry,” when he had done something wrong blurted out, “Sitti, if you say, ‘I’m sorry’ right away, the problem stays very small, but when you don’t say ‘sorry,’ then the problem keeps getting bigger and bigger, and it is much harder to fix.”

This grandson always makes me smile with his understanding of the world, yet this three-year-old’s logic made sense, in reminding me of my own struggles to apologize quickly and to forgive others instead of holding on to anger and self-righteousness.

Scripture is full of lessons about forgiveness. For instance, Paul wrote to the Colossians, “bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you” (3:13). Clearly, he is reminding us how important forgiveness is. It makes me feel better that even the first Christians needed reminders to get along with others and forgive as Jesus did. Yet it is still hard today to ask for forgiveness and also to forgive others who have hurt me in some way.

In the Gospel of Matthew, even Peter seems to be trying to figure out this forgiveness thing when he asks Jesus, “‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times’” (18:21–22). I wonder what Peter was struggling with and what he must have thought about Jesus’ limitless forgiveness policy, when Peter thought seven times was being generous.

I forge ahead and ask God to help me let go of resentments I have against others and be limitless in my apologies. God sends me a good friend who reminds me that being stingy with apologies only keeps the burden on my own heart. This friend also points out that I am not better or worse than anyone else. I learn, while praying for those that I am having a hard time forgiving, more about the goodness of our great God in forgiving me endlessly for all the times I messed up. I also remember my dad’s words, that God cannot be outdone in generosity, and I think that I am finally understanding what he meant all those years.

So, I am taking my three-year-old grandson’s advice and trying to be generous with my apologies and forgiveness. It is much easier to see other’s faults than my own, so I know that I need God’s help. I hang a reminder on my refrigerator to pray for others, and when I am washing dishes or cooking dinner, I ask the God of abundant mercy to stay close to me each and every day and to help me keep my apologies generous and forgiveness limitless.