Discernment Twists and Turns

Editor’s note: Throughout July, we’re hosting 31 Days with St. Ignatius, a month-long celebration of Ignatian spirituality. In addition to the calendar of Ignatian articles found here, posts on dotMagis this month will explore the theme of “Hope Through the Twists and Turns.”

Some months ago, I was invited by my alma mater, Fairfield University, to participate in an online alumni event. I was to be interviewed by Fr. Gerry Blaszczak, SJ—then assistant to the president and alumni chaplain—about my vocational journey and the role Fairfield played in my formation.

Fr. Blaszczak and I met a week or so in advance of the live event to review some questions and get a sense of the direction the conversation might take.

“What did you do after graduating from Fairfield?” Fr. Blaszczak asked me.

“I did a year of service in Bolivia,” I said.

“And how did you arrive at that decision?”

I laid out for him my discernment process: my desire to live and work in a Spanish-speaking community, my history of service and immersion trips, my academic background in international studies, and my professional hope to work in international affairs and humanitarian development. I described why I found Bolivia appealing and interesting and how my then-girlfriend, now-wife, was spending her own comparable year in Ecuador.

“Sounds like a thorough discernment,” Fr. Blaszczak replied.

“I think so,” I said. “But it was a really hard year. I definitely spent a lot of time second-guessing that decision. Things never really clicked for me.”

Fr. Blaszczak held up a hand, emphatic. “Now wait,” he said. “You just described a good discernment. But now you’re saying the experience wasn’t what you had hoped for. Do you think it was a bad discernment?”

Suddenly, I felt like I was in a spiritual direction session rather than a pre-meeting for an interview. “I…I don’t think so?”

He smiled. “You made a good discernment,” he said. “And I don’t want our viewers to think otherwise. But a good discernment doesn’t mean an easy path or a path without additional decisions and potential hardships.”

We kept talking, and I continued to lay out the general brush strokes of my life journey. But that emphatic interruption, that insistence that I not speed past a key moment of discernment in my story, that confident assertion that though a good discernment might be made, trouble may yet follow—I’ve never forgotten that.

It’s an important point for two spiritually grounding reasons. The first is: Just because we make the right decision doesn’t mean our lives will be easy. It’s tempting to assume that all we have to do is carefully identify and plot out each of the so-called right choices in our lives, and it’ll be smooth-sailing. Any hardship must be the result of an incorrect choice. Of course, we know this to be a lie. Even those of us who make the most carefully reasoned and well-discerned decisions still run into struggles and grapple with suffering. There’s no magical path out of this life that avoids such pain.

But even more importantly, God is intimately present in each of life’s twists and turns. A good decision made in the company of God two weeks ago is still a good decision, and we remain in the company of God these two weeks later, even amidst our struggles.

Discernment is not a magic trick or a get-out-of-jail-free card that teleports us to the great celebration at the end of the game of life. No. Discernment is decision-making made with and illuminated by the Holy Spirit. We make decisions so as to serve the greater glory of God and the good of all people—not to find the easiest path.

So here’s a word of hope. Even now, in this moment, if you feel caught up in those twists and turns of life, remember how very near God remains. Even when we make bad choices, God still remains near and accompanies us in the next decision.

God remains faithful to us as we navigate the treacherous roads of life. And God desires that we choose the good, that which will bring about God’s dream on earth as it is in heaven.

Today’s featured article in 31 Days with St. Ignatius is Allowing God to Work Through Ignatian Contemplation by Rebecca Ruiz. Share the link to this or any article from our site with the hashtag #31DayswithIgnatius on your favorite social media channels.