Editor’s note: Throughout July, we’re hosting 31 Days with St. Ignatius, a month-long celebration of Ignatian spirituality. In addition to the calendar of Ignatian articles found here, posts on dotMagis this month will explore the theme of “Finding God in the Unexpected.”
The beauty of St. Ignatus’s point of view about finding God at the center of everything is timeless, it is universal, and it is relevant in the most unexpected ways. When I hear folks talk about finding God, they often think first of church, prayer, silence, or Scripture. I’ve found God in those places too. However, one of the most unexpected places I found him was at the center of my second marriage.
My backstory is that I had been married for ten years. The first five were fine. The last five were tumultuous and lacking in joy and happiness. On the surface, I pretended all was good. Yet, inside I was broken—the result of a marriage where God was not at the center. At the time, I did not fully understand how much that meant. I knew marriage required love, patience, and commitment, but I did not know how to build a life with someone when we didn’t accept or appreciate faith and God at the same level. When faith is absent in a marriage, it will lack the spiritual grounding that helps love endure, deepen, and heal. This I know. Because this I experienced.
After my divorce and annulment of my first marriage, I met a woman who I immediately knew was a gift from God. I could tell her faith was real, steady, and deeply rooted. She did not wear her faith for show. She wore it with deep pride. She lived it. I saw it in the way she prayed, in the peace she carried, and in the quiet confidence she had in God. I heard it in the way she conversed with me and how she moved through life with trust in God’s presence. I knew for sure this woman was a gift. In this new relationship, I found God in the most unexpected way. I did not want this opportunity to pass me by, so we married.
My wife’s name is Wendy Olga Willoughby. I call her WOW! She is the WOW factor in my life.
If I had not met this kind and loving woman, I don’t think my faith would be as strong as it is today. Her involvement in our church enabled me to look more honestly at my own relationship with God. She helped me understand more clearly what it meant to live a life of faith that is not only spoken but practiced. I became a lector and a second-degree member of the Knights of Columbus, joined the music ministry, and chaired the parish council. Because of Wendy, I began to understand that faith is not something we visit only in hard times or on Sunday mornings. It is something we live day by day, choice by choice, in the way we love, forgive, trust, and persevere.
Wendy’s gentleness and love drew me closer to God. And that type of love did more than comfort me. It refined me. It called me to greater patience, humility, and honesty. I found more than companionship. I found spiritual strength that deepened my faith and reinforced the foundation of my life.
What makes this so meaningful to me is that I never expected my second marriage to become such a sacred place in my life. I simply hoped for love. What I found was more than that. I discovered a clearer understanding of what it means to walk with God with a loving companion who knows and loves God. Through this relationship, I learned healing can be holy and what comes after brokenness can be filled with grace.
Today in 31 Days with St. Ignatius, read When We Miss the Fruits by Our Snap Judgments by Gerri Leder. When or where have you encountered God in the unexpected? Share with #31DayswithIgnatius on social media.
