HomedotMagisReflectionsBeing People for Others

Being People for Others

hands reaching to each otherSt. Ignatius Loyola understood that, even when we strive to do glorious deeds, often the motivation is selfish. Or at least it’s self-focused. In his early years, he trained to be a soldier and a knight. He wanted to sacrifice himself for country and for some beautiful lady he could defend and honor. But years later, as he meditated, prayed, and discovered God, who created and loved him, Ignatius dismantled old ways of thinking. Rather than becoming proud and worried about making a good show, a person must develop humility. Rather than focusing on himself and his dreams of glory, he must follow Jesus’ example and move outward, looking at what other people needed and dreamed for.

Being “people for others” means that we are willing to shift focus and actually notice others and care about them. What does that look like on a typical day? Here are just a few ideas.

  • When I’m around someone who is behaving badly, rather than think of how the behavior irritates or upsets me, I wonder what might be triggering that person to act like this. A child in the hospital? Job loss? Relationship problems? A string of faulty decisions?
  • While working with other people on a project, I resist worrying about how my input is received or how much I am noticed and concentrate on helping each person on the team do his or her best.
  • I pray as much—probably more—for others than for myself.
  • Rather than turn away and distract myself from others’ suffering, I make some move to help.
  • My decisions about time, money, and other resources always factor in how generous I can be, and I come up with concrete plans for sharing.

Being a person for others will always be a challenge, because we are conditioned from an early age to focus on “me and mine.” We might be encouraged to see the world as a dangerous place, to see many people as too different and therefore “other,” and to believe that there is never enough of anything to go around. Jesus requires that we resist this way of being in the world. He asks that, rather than growing fearful, we make an effort to be open. Rather than grasping and hoarding, we are to be grateful and generous. Jesus asks that, rather than operating in a judgmental and self-protective way, we extend to others God’s love and make room at the table for those we might call strangers.

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Vinita Hampton Wright
Vinita Hampton Wrighthttp://www.loyolapress.com/authors/vinita-hampton-wright
Vinita Hampton Wright edited books for 32 years, retiring in 2021. She has written various fiction and non-fiction books, including the novel Dwelling Places and spirituality books Days of Deepening Friendship, The Art of Spiritual Writing, Small Simple Ways: An Ignatian Daybook for Healthy Spiritual Living, and, most recently, Set the World on Fire: A 4-Week Personal Retreat with the Female Doctors of the Church. Vinita is a spiritual director and continues to facilitate retreats and write fiction and nonfiction. She lives with her husband, two dogs, and a cat in Springdale, Arkansas.


  1. Hi, it just goes to show that the Ignatian way of Finding God in all things is exactly that .. one of the responses to your message deals with holding grudges for hurts .. the other is about relaxing more on the golf course and allowing others to succeed sometimes… 2 very different experiences .. but both equally valid … I just LOVE the Ignatian way !

  2. For me, your call to be people for others led me to reflect on several people in my past, for whom I’ve been holding a grudge.
    Because I believe they wronged me, I waste my future time. When I began to imagine they receive gifts that would alleviate their pattern of causing suffering, it allowed me to move on from spending my attention on go-nowhere ideas.
    By letting go of the grudge, I can use the empty space to fill it with more ‘for others giving’. Thank you Vinita for the healing exercise.

  3. I was always uptight about my performance on the golf course, now I pray that those I play with will do well. Took my eye off myself,
    and am more relaxed and enjoying more.

  4. I try to pray daily for the grace to be a man for others. This post was so timely and a terrific reminder that we needn’t accomplish major tasks. Small things throughout our days add up in innumerable ways.

  5. Thank you. This post is very clear, specific, and attainable. I appreciate the work that you do in all its facets! Thank you for helping others to be ‘for others’.

  6. Just happen to come across this text. Thank you it is very helpful. Most of us are too self focused and selfish, sometimes we dont even realize it. Thank you for bringing this into my awareness. I ask God for the grace to fucus more on others during my normal days.


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