Our Ignatian song this week is U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” It’s a song of deep spiritual yearning.
You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
Every time I hear it I think of St. Augustine’s famous saying, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Here is a performance by U2 and Bruce Springsteen.
My dream from middle school was to study Law after graduating from college. Thankfully, however, I familiarized myself with some law school programs during my undergrad years and I realized that path was not for me. In Ignatian terms, this is called an election in the “first time,” which is when a choice is so obvious that you’re unable to doubt the decision . It was around this time that I was starting to get inklings that God might have something more adventurous in store for my life, but there was also the other voice telling me that I’d “never make it” if I didn’t stick to the plan. Now, I can look back and thank God I’m not in the same place I was in back then. Like Gerard Way, I don’t want to “make it.” My earlier ideas of success no longer had any appeal to me, but I was still trying to figure out what could take their place.
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