I grew up in a family notorious for not being able to make decisions. Everyone had a different opinion on what to do, and if we did agree on something, there were multiple options on how and when to do it. Going out to dinner was a major affair that stressed everyone out to the point of not wanting to go. One memorable vacation, the stress of deciding what to do led to my father saying out of pure frustration, “Can we please do something, even if it’s wrong?” This became our family mantra. Do not let indecision, which comes from the spirit not of God, stop you from acting on your heart’s desires. My spiritual director reminds me that short of something immoral, there is no wrong here. There is movement and discernment, there is constant growth, as long as you are intentional and not living a life of being chronically disengaged.
If you truly don’t know what the next step is, ask others for their input. Again, from Edward Kinerk, SJ, “As Jesuits we believe that our most authentic desires will be discovered and fulfilled only through collaboration [with others].” If you have no idea where to begin with a goal, talk to twenty people about what they think you should do, and discern the best option by the end of the month. Break that down to one person’s input per day. Seek out experts in the arena of your heart’s desire to benefit from their wisdom. Not only does that give you clarity about your goal but it also brings others onto your support team. This request honors their wisdom and the divine in them and reminds you that you are not alone on this journey. Have you ever asked a stranger for advice? It can be an amazing conversation starter. Most people are genuinely good at heart and want to help you.
—Excerpted from The Spiritual Path by Lisa Kelly
