I got to know St. Ignatius many years ago, at about 5:30 a.m., when a sopping wet Examen card was stuck to the side of the washing machine. Annoyed at myself for not staying up late to change loads nor checking pockets before doing laundry, I peeled the laminated card from the washer drum, wiped off the excess water, and read the first line, “God, I believe that I am in your presence and you are loving me.”
I stopped a moment and looked around for God, wondering where I would see him among the piles of dirty laundry. Feeling a little panicked, thinking that this was no place for God, I wondered if I should tidy up to make space for him. Instead, tears filled my eyes as I imagined a loving God there with me while I was hurrying to get a load of school pants dried before my boys awoke.
Finding the Examen that day created a curiosity in me that I could not shake. I was familiar with this prayer since my boys attended a Jesuit high school—explaining the Examen card stuck to the washer. It was both wonderful and terrifying to imagine that God was with me in every mundane task of every day, during the best moments and my worst ones too.
I imagined God right beside me as I drove carpool and washed dishes. I cringed at what he must think about me losing my temper and being cranky for things not working out how I had planned. I talked to God about being a wife and mother, and I reminded him that my children were his first, and I could use all the help I could get.
I began to talk to God when my eyes opened in the morning, thanking him for everything and discussing my plans for the day, especially things that were going to be hard. We talked at the end of the day, when I reflected on what went well and where I needed to make amends if I had done something hurtful to someone.
The first line of the Examen reminds me that God is not necessarily in a place, but every place, and his first response to me is always love. I have also learned that there are times when I cannot feel God at all or find him near me, especially when I am deep in conflict or trying to control everything. But inevitably when I settle down to pray and look back through the hard times, I see that God was there right beside me carrying me through difficulties. After all, God is steadfast and loving, and nothing will ever change that.
Since that day I found the Examen card, I have begun to understand what St. Ignatius had in mind when he gave us the Examen, especially as I have grown from a mother to a grandmother. I still talk to God and plan our day together, and I know he will be with me throughout the day. I thank God for the little things that touch my heart, like finding my grandson’s clothes in my washing machine after fun days, and I still talk to God about my children, especially now that they are grown and have lives of their own. God and I have shared many tears of worry and happiness as I continue to find the willingness to surrender my life to him. And as I grow older and get to experience more of this life, I will always remember that no matter what happens, I am always in the presence of God, who is loving me.
I needed that, as I struggle being patient with my aging husband.
Thanks for reminding me that God is still here, after almost 81 years.
I know! My husband presents many challenges at 82, and sometimes I can easily loose patients. Then, as I reflect on my day, I realize God gave him to me, nearly 59 years ago and without His help and presence I could never have made it this long.
Every person is an embodiment or a miniature form of God , being made after the image of God
Our body is an abode of God as St Paul writes to Corinthian Receiving Holy Communion we become a walking tabernacle of God
God is good, all the time. Peace brother
Yes… in the course of the day, in the midst of the essential and the conflicted. Yes… and thank you for the reminder.
Always I am grateful for others’ words of discovering God,awakening to God,believing God!,hearing God,allowing God into my soul!?,
Help me God to stay w You,God.I love you.this I know.
Blessings. This is just what I needed to hear today. My daughter and her three small children are on vacation at my house, not to mention my elder daughter and her two bigger daughters. The house is full, often in disarray and their arguments and fights over toys and who did what and whose turn to go the dishes. I find myself not spending time in pray as I would usually like to do but I have discovered that if I focus on the goodness. Shared meals, children’s laughter and the joy of having my family around me means that God is right here in our midst. Thank you Lord for my family. What a gift.
Yes what a gift! Your comment is a good reminder to me!
I needed this one today! Thank you and Stay wonderful!
Great help at the end of this day, on the eve of the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, who always reminds me to “listen to Him…” no matter what time of the day or wherever I am…Thank you from the Holy Land!
Inspiring. Theresa Brotherton is a Wisdom Bank. Tremendous spiritual experiences. So well interconnected and integrated. Beautiful narration. Thanks.
A beautiful reflection. Thank you.
This is such a needed yet sweet reflection, thanks for sharing.
Read this and it triggered the thought: Wonder how old the Grandkids are? When does it become time to engage them in using the washing machine and other aspects of work associated with daily living?
Is ‘doing it all’ for them a disservice to their becoming aware of how life is? Gave me plenty to ponder. Thanks.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder. If I sense that God is not near, it is I who moved. God is patient loving me until I return.
Thank you for your gentle reminder that God is with us always. We just need to tune in.
Thank you, Theresa! Wow did I need this today. God bless you!
Thank you so much for this. On so many levels right now, I needed to read it.
“I have also learned that there are times when I cannot feel God at all or find him near me, especially when I am deep in conflict or trying to control everything. But inevitably when I settle down to pray and look back through the hard times, I see that God was there right beside me carrying me through difficulties. After all, God is steadfast and loving, and nothing will ever change that.”
I have just been listening to Katie Nichole, “God is in this story”, Hold On”, “An Honest Conversation,” (to mention just a few) as I did chores and the words left me tearful and feeling victorious at the same time as I felt the consolation of Jesus.